A woman’s week at the gym
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
A dog joke
A little boy called Graham asked his Mum: ‘Mum, may I take Fluff for a walk around the block?’ Mum replies, ‘No, because she is in heat.’
‘What’s that mean?’ asked little Graham.
‘Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.’
Graham goes to the garage and says, ‘Dad, may I take Fluff for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.’
Jokes
A guy was driving around Dublin when he saw a sign in front of a house: „Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rang the bell and the owner told him the dog was in the backyard. The guy went into the backyard and saw a Labrador sitting there..
‘You talk?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ the Lab replied.
‘So, what’s the story?’
A toilet that checks your health
To everybody but especially for you hypochondriacs! Here it is a good news from Japan! The Japanese researchers announced us that soon we can forget the visits to the doctor for health check-ups. And this not because we’ve decided that we don’t need a doctor anymore but because a simply pee into the „intelligent toilet”.
Chinese sick day
Hung Chow calls into work and says: “Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”
The boss says: “You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: “I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon … You got nice house.”
I believe
Have a seat….relax..and read this slowly. It kind of sums it all up………. I believe – That we do not…
Recession jokes
What is the difference between a banker and a bank robber? One wears a balaclava! How do you know an…
A gigle, unfortunately so true
An Israeli doctor says: „Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks”!
Supermarket experience
A new supermarket has opened in Clevedon (North of Bristol). It has an automatic water-mist to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk shelves you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
The Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and tests were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.