Lessons from father to his son
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. „Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
“First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.” And they did.
“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they did.
Facts about langauges
1. The longest alphabet in the world is Cambodian. In boats 74 letters.
2. The ampersand (&) was once regarded as the 27th letter of the English alphabet.
3. In some parts of French Guinea, people speak the language which consists of only 340 words.
Teaching English
Teaching the natives English
A priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, ‘This is a tree.’
A joke of 3 euro
Here you have a good joke before a new, fresh week. I hope you’ll like it even you’ve heard before the joke. The advantage now is that you see it played and the waiter’s face makes every single euro! Have fun!
The Irish Sex Fairy
Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn’t change a word! I’m not messing with the Irish Sex Fairy!
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
Some oldies but goodies
1. Two blond girls walked into a building … you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message – ‘… If you want marijuana, press the hash key…’
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.
How to clean the loo
This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you: 1. Put both lids of…
Morning sex
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally…
Malapropisms
Malapropisms are twists of the language that, somehow, make sense even though they are seemingly senseless. Does that make sense to you? If so, then you’ve come to the right spot. Every day spoken examples:
They are often the result of what happens when a person talks faster than he thinks. Include me out.
Social: mergate man
An Australian, an Irishman and a geezer from Margate are in a bar. They’re staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He’s so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: ‘My word, it’s Jesus!’