A cat with a compass
A man hated his wife’s cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.
That wonderful thing called love
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife’s voice from the kitchen.
„What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?”
He said, „Thank you, I’ll have chicken…”
„Fuck You. You’re having soup. I was talking to the cat.”
Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
O poveste cu morala
A story with a moral
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their Parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories… There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie was left.
Irish hooker
An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman lurking in the shadows.
„Twenty dollars”, she whispers.
Paddy had never had a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only 20 bucks. So they hide in the bushes.
They’re going at it for a couple of minutes when, all of a sudden, a light flashes on them. It’s a police officer.
„What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
„I’m making love to me wife”, the Irishman answers sounding annoyed.
„Oh, I’m so sorry”, says the cop, „I didn’t know”.
„Well, needer did I – says Paddy – ’til ya shoined dat bloody light in her face”!!!
We can give her a present: the next spring
For all of you who are living in Romania (but not only), this first week of March is very special: we are celebrating the WOMAN and we say Welcome to Spring. If you love women as much as you love spring, we can all offer Cristina’s Liliana Dinu a spring; not this one but the next one! Read her story and visit her web page:
Love through a camera’s lens
For this Valentine’s Day I planned to write a beautiful story. Something to touch to your soul and impress your eyes, something which you will not find on other websites, or newspapers or magazines … I don’t even dare to write a love story because I am more than convinced that the lovers will argue that their story is unique and inimitable (and why should I disappoint them destroying the illusion and tell them that everything they are living today was lived, felt and done the same already for so many times).
Accessories for honeymoon
A knockout young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.
Right question
While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent. „I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. „Allow me to demonstrate.”
Party
A slice of pizza is in the stomach, waiting to be digested. Suddenly, a shot of whiskey barrels down. The pizza lets it pass in front of him.
A few minutes later, another shot of whiskey comes through. Courteously, the pizza lets it pass in front of him, too.
A few minutes later, a third shot of whiskey tumbles into the stomach. The pizza asks they whiskey, “What’s going on up there?”
”They’re having a really great party”, says the whiskey.
”Really? responds the pizza. “I think I’ll go up there and take a look”.
An Accidental Quiche – Yes I can!
Now last week a well-meaning guest brought me some “cascaval afumat” – a pretty unprepossessing rubbery blob of fare that had been nowhere near a smokery and everywhere near a phial of chemical flavoring.