A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an adult shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.

Cutie birds, but why fight when you have some carrot waste there? Sign here, please! The most laziest mother in the entire world! Long way back!Have I done this

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:0 0 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’ Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests