Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes round to see him.
Mick says: „How ya doin’…?”
„Paddy says: „Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.”
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy’s gorgeous 19 years old twin daughters lying stark ravin’ naked on the bed.
He says: „Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of ya…”
They say: „Get away with ya …. now ya just prove it.”
Mick shouts downstairs: „Paddy, both of ‘em?”
Paddy shouts back: „Of course, both of ‘em. What’s the point of foockin’ one?”

Italian Mother: ‘Hello?’
Daughter: ‘Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?’
Italian Mother: ‘You’re going out?’
Daughter: ‘Yes.’
Italian Mother: ‘With who?’
Daughter: ‘With a friend.’
Italian Mother: ‘I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.’
Daughter: ‘Ma, I didn’t leave him. He left me!’

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.