I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘ Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford Batteries.
I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, „Can you afford fries with that?”
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked „Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’ s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their childrens names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Motel Six won’ t leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street „Wall-Mart Street.”
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, social security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hot-line. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck…