The night of april 1st

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 71 years old.
DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
LOL: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
DA: Did you know him?
LOL: No, but he sure was friendly.
DA: What happened after he sat down?
LOL: He started to rub my thigh.
DA: Did you stop him?
LOL: No, I didn’t stop him.
DA: Why not?
LOL: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
DA: What happened next?
LOL: He began to rub my breasts.
DA: Did you stop him then?
LOL: No, I did not stop him.
DA: Why not?
LOL: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!
DA: What happened next?
LOL: Well, by then, I was feeling so „spicy” that I just laid down and told him „Take me, young man. Take me now!”
DA: Did he take you?
LOL: Hell, no! He just yelled, „April Fool!” and ran off. And that’s when I shot him … the little bastard.